We're here again. It's that holiday that sneaks up on us clueless, distracted husbands every year. We vaguely know it's in February, but it still seems like you wake up one day and the radio proclaims that today is the day to celebrate your love.
Valentines Day is tougher as a grown up. When you are in elementary school, a generic card with a candy heart attached with some kind of toxic glue did the trick. Everyone in class had to get one so Stinky Phil who didn't bathe much wouldn't feel bad about not getting valentines.
When you hit college, Valentines Day consists of getting the good pizza that doesn't turn into plastic form upon cooling (Sorry, Pizza Answer, Eugene) and maybe even getting wine instead of beer to go with it. Follow that up with a midnight game of frisbee golf and romance can't be far behind. (Yes, I was that lame in college.)
When you become a 40-something dad/husband, Valentines Day takes on a new form. It's something that happens between carpools and work. You try to find a couple of hours to remember you are a couple that can talk about something more than...well, carpools and work.
People take different approaches to Valentines Day. I don't mean to discourage any in particular, but you might want to think twice about that reservation you have for tonight.
If you know people in the restaurant industry and have read Anthony Bourdain's books then you already know this. Anyone with 8 hours of vacation saved up at a restaurant is taking today off. They don't want to be anywhere near a restaurant on Valentines Day. Why is that? Well, diners on Valentines Day are sort of punching a timeclock rather than really enjoying the dining experience. They are going out to say they went out for Valentines Day and they aren't the restaurant's regulars and they probably won't be back again for a long, long time. So, in a word, they are cheap...really, really cheap. Valentines Day diners are known for ordering cheap and then tipping low, so the A Team at the restaurant is at their homes making risotto or albondigas for their loved ones instead of cooking in their restaurants.
So, who is cooking and serving in restaurants on Valentines Day, you might ask? Well, it's Stinky Phil from elementary school who has been dicing and slicing produce for months in the back of the kitchen and finally gets his chance to cook tonight. Is tonight the best night to order that seared Ahi with the raw core that has to be done just right so as not to get you sick? Perhaps not. I'm thinking burger well done is the way to go.
I'm lucky. My wife likes to eat at home on Valentines Day and I try my best to recreate a meal we had in Paris together for our 10th anniversary as we approach our 20th anniversary. Tonight's conversation at the dinner table should be particularly interesting as this is my teenage daughter's first Valentine's Day in high school. There should be at least one story about an awkward teenage proclamation of love or at least a Facebook "poke" or "like" to report.
A Brief Note From the Carpool
Hey you in front of me with the minivan with the racing stripes and the oversized wheels on it revving your motor in front of the middle school this morning...Don't Do That! Your minivan is not coming across as a Monster Truck even though you've clearly spent way too much money on it trying to get it there. Just settle down and accept that maybe your days of cruising the middle school at 7:40 a.m. are over and head on down to Cinnabon where you'll feel more at home.
So, whatever you decide to do for Valentines Day, whether it's cruising the middle school in your suped up minivan or braving Stinky Phil's latest creation at your local eatery, just keep in mind that Valentine's Day is just a day. We'll all get through this.
