A Plea for Sean

Today's Marin Independent Journal reports that there has been a rash of vehicle break-ins in Ross. And really, if you are going to break into cars, you might as well pick the toniest part of Marin to do that. One can imagine the carnage of broken glass next to the Range Rovers and Priuses lining the mean streets of Ross as their detectives decked out in Armani try to figure out what's going on. "Hmmm. You say there is a bridge from here to Richmond? Hmmm. This is truly a mystery."

So, as a plea for someone I don't actually know, I just want to ask the thieves to please bring back Sean Penn's bong. The guy looks stressed out enough without having to deal with this. His wife left him and from the looks of Vanity Faire is actually doing a whole lot better without him. All he probably does is sit there with his bong at his Ross home waiting for Clint Eastwood to call and say, "Sean, I've got an idea for another movie and this time you are a bad boy, but instead of being a bad boy in Boston you are going to be a bad boy in Chicago. Kevin is already in and it's going to be great."

So, Ross car thieves, you can keep his Prius, but please bring back Sean Penn's bong so Southern Marin can relax again and not worry about Sean showing up at Woodland's Market in a tirade. They're a peaceful group down there, unless of course you break into their Priuses and take their stuff.