It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a Fish? No, Sausalito's AquaMan is Here!

Sausalito has its very own member of the Justice League. I know, because I saw him on Father's Day from the very cool Bar Bocce that my family took me to. We had just finished a game of bocce ball and collected our first round of refreshments when "AquaMan" decided to crank up his jet pack and start flying around in the bay in front of us.

What? No cape?!

For just a smidge under $100,000, the JetLev R200 can be yours and you too can fly 28 feet in the air with the help of a pump you drag along the water below you. It is pretty impressive to see in person. Like a helicopter, he hovered in the air and then angled himself forward to go rocketing off to another part of the San Francisco Bay.

I'm almost completely certain the owner of this JetLev is single. I mean think about the conversation you'd have with your wife about purchasing a JetLev.

Wife: "You want to buy a jet pack for the water?"
You: "Yes! It will be so cool!"

Wife: "How much is it?"
You: "$99,500. It's not like it's a whole $100,000!"

Wife: "Is this something we can do together?"
You: "Ummm. You can watch me and if I get close enough to shore I can spray you with the jets of water."

Or, for $84,000, you could have this instead.

This is just not a conversation that is going to go well. It turns out that $100,000 actually buys you a lot in the way of water entertainment if you give up on the idea of flying. If you are willing to be on the water instead of flying above it on a suped up waterpik, there is currently a 53-foot sailing yacht for sale in Sausalito for $84,000. Sure, you aren't flying, but good luck sipping champagne and getting frisky with a special someone in the JetLev. If you own a JetLev, that is just one of many "solo activities" you'll probably enjoy. If you own a yacht instead, you can sail all the way across the bay from Sausalito to Tiburon with other people. 

For those of you considering getting your own JetLev and thinking to yourself, "What could possibly go wrong? There's no way I could embarrass myself with something so cool!" Then, as a public service announcement, I leave you with this video.

Slumming with the Queen

There she was, Queen Elizabeth the Second, in all her glory, sailing down the Thames on the "Royal Barge." What, what? Did the words "royal" and "barge" just appear in the same sentence? That can't be right.

They named the barge? Really?

What is going on over there across the pond? I'm a little concerned. Here in America we have people like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, who have ascended to their pop celebrity thrones by being the daughters of the guy who got O.J. off and the guy whose hotels used to be nice, but are kind of run down now, and they fly around in private jets and party on yachts. Yet, in England, the Queen celebrates her 60 years on the throne of actual royalty not by sailing down the Thames on the "royal yacht " or the QE2, a cruise ship named after her, but instead is sent down the river on a barge ala Huck Finn style? This has my crumpets in a knicker!

Jerry Brown Unveils the Queen's New Budget

What other parts of the British royalty have been downgraded? Does the Queen leave the royal barge to be taken in the Royal PT Cruiser to the Royal Bowling Alley? Is she then served Royal Buffalo Wings? I'd like to know just how deep these budget cuts have gone. Is Jerry Brown doing the budget for the royal family these days?

Now, I may not be an authority on the British monarchy, but I have watched Downton Abbey. I can tell you that none of the characters on that show, including the gay cranky butler, would be found dead on a barge. They would take their ellaborate costumes and their overly dramatic gazes into the camera and find a boat with an actual motor.

And where's the British Navy in all of this Queen on the Barge Business?! You guys sunk the Bismarck and now you can't provide a boat with a motor for the Queen? I mean the "HMS" in the name of your ships stands for "(In) Her Magesty's Service" and you send The Queen down the Thames on the HMS Git'Er Done?

Faster then the Royal Barge! By the way, where's the driver?

So, the next time on I'm down south on a Duffy electric boat going 5 knots through Newport Bay, I will think to myself, "I could totally beat the Queen's barge right now!"