Bobblehead Economics

This week the political conventions are starting, which sort of plays out as the not-nearly-as-televised-as-they-used-to-be live versions of Best in Show. If you don't remember that movie, it's a spoof about people dressing up dogs and parading them in front of a crowd in hopes they will win best in show.

This year's big issue seems to be the economy. It seems when voters aren't working that they get a little cranky and stop caring about whether the government agencies are adequately regulating produce. I was previously concerned about the economy myself...that is until I discovered Bobblehead Economics.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you miss this class in your studies? It's true that not every university offers Bobblehead Economics. Some people have to learn it on the fly on the mean streets of The Embarcadero in San Francisco.

Let's back up a step. Yesterday, my family went with some close friends to see a Giants game. We were there in person to see them not play so very well against the Atlanta Braves. (By the way, isn't is kind of politically incorrect now-a-days to have a baseball team named after Indian warriors attacking pilgrims? I'm just sayin'.) Anyhow, yesterday turned out to be Pablo Sandoval Bobblehead Day, a holiday that ranks right up there with Arbor Day and England's Boxing Day. People were lined up down The Embarcadero to get their own PabloBabloHeads.

A "PabloBobloHead?"

The general concept seems to be that if you've bought a ticket for your kids, they get to go home with a bobblehead to remember the day, whether they are in a $200 box seat behind homeplate or a $12 bleacher seat high above the field.

Unfortunately, that's not quite how it works out. We watched as people got in line, over and over again, and then left with four, five, six or more bobbleheads and headed out to the parking lot. This was as the game was about to start. At the time, I thought it was just some sort of bizarre hording activity. People were literally walking away with trash bags full of bobblehead boxes with looks on their faces as if they had just agreed to be married to a Kardashian for 72 days.

This morning, the mystery of Bobblehead Economics unfolded as I went on eBay out of couriousity. It turns out the Pablo Sandoval Bobbleheads are being sold just one day after the game for $44. So, here's how Bobblehead Economics works.

1. Buy the cheapest bleacher seat for $12-$14.
2. Stand in line over and over with your ticket and collect 6 bobbleheads.
3. Place them on eBay that very same evening and price them at $44.
4. Sell your bobbleheads for $264.
5. Net profit: $250.

Now, if either one of our political parties can harness the power of Bobblehead Economics, we could be at the dawn of a brighter economic future for America. Let's ask our media to stop asking Obama/Biden and Romney/Ryan about "jobs" and "taxes" and get to the real issue. "How will bobbleheads play into your economic strategy?" Until they can answer that question, I'm remaining on the fence.

So, the next time you are at a game and some guy walks by you with a trash bag full of bobbleheads and you think to yourself, "What a rube." Keep it to yourself, because the rube is probably wearing a Rolex and on his way to see his investment advisor.