Frosty Has a Lei

I know you thought I was going to go with the "Frosty Got Lei-ed" headline, but I didn't want my 5th grade humor to be that predictable for you readers. There's a deeper, more complex side to my humor. Okay, maybe not. My son summed up my humor last night when he described a friend of his as having humor "like Dad's. You know, he tells jokes that most people don't think are funny." And...everyone in my family agreed! Talk about a tough room...

But seriously, Frosty does have a lei. Let me explain. As part of our "collage" of Christmas decorations outside (translation for "collage:" many years of accumulated decorations that do not match), we have a snowman. Now, being that we live in California, our snowman isn't made of ice, but of many toxic fabrics and stuffing assembled in some factory in China. Frosty spends most of the year up on a shelf in the garage and once a year we dust him off and perch him in front of our house.

This morning, I went outside to get the paper to find our Frosty sporting a lei, not a fake 10-cent party store lei, but an actual flower lei made with actual flowers. Obviously, Frosty had a much more exciting Sunday night than I did. I looked around to see if Frosty also had an empty martini glass and a half-smoked cigar, but the lei was the only evidence that Frosty got his groove on last night.

Now, I'm sure that the Hawaiin-themed holiday party (Mele Kalikimaka) held over at our local market, Paradise Foods, had absolutely nothing to do with my snowman ending up with an authentic Hawaiin lei. No, I'm sure it's unrelated.

Everyone should have a market like Paradise Foods, by the way. It's my Cheers. It's a local market where I live where many people in there actually know my name and I know their names. It turns a shopping trip into a visit with friends. I'm not sure what it says that my "Cheers" is a grocery store, instead of an actual bar. I guess it doesn't sound hugely manly.

By the way, if I'm forfeiting my manliness, I'll might as well share a recipe. I made a good batch of short ribs last night and so can you. Here's what you'll need:

• 2 tbls olive oil
• 4lbs short ribs (have your butcher saw them into thirds)
• 1 sweet onion chopped
• 2 leeks sliced (the white parts only)
• 6 carrots (sliced, but not peeled)
• 4 cloves garlic peeled and smashed
• 1 can San Marzano diced tomatoes (14 oz or bigger)
• 2 oz dried porcini mushrooms
• 1 cup freshly brewed coffee
• 3/4 bottle of Zinfandel wine  

And here's what you do: Preheat an oven to 300 degrees. Pour the olive oil into a dutch oven or other type of heavy pot with a lid. On your stove, brown the meatside of the ribs. Don't worry about the bone side. This will take about 3-4 minutes at high heat. Set the ribs aside. In the same oil, add the onion and leeks and cook until they get translucent, about 4-5 minutes. Turn off the stove. Add all of the remaining ingredients and then nestle the short ribs in the mixture so they are nearly submerged. Make sure all of the porcini mushrooms are submerged. Put the lid on, set it in the oven for about 5-8 hours (you can't overcook this dish at 300 degrees, so don't worry) and then serve over polenta or mashed potatoes.

So Frosty, all I can say is that the next time you go to the Hawaiin party at Cheers,...take me!