Steve Young, Jerry Rice and the Tramp Stamp

Sometimes it takes a fake tattoo to really express your love of the sport.

Monday, I went with three other dads to see the 49ers play the Steelers. Since the game started at 5:30 p.m., we did the prudent thing and caught the 11:10 a.m. ferry into the city. I mean you don't want to be late! Now, I don't know about your ferries, but here in the SF Bay area our ferries have bars. Since the four or us hadn't had a guys' day out since Clinton, we headed straight for the bar.

Dads one through three ordered a Black Butte Porter. This is a microbrew gift from Oregon and we appreciate it. ("Thank you bearded, hemp-wearing, beer-making Oregonians!") Dad #4 wondered about the wine list. The ferry bartender, who at this point was thinking "What's the deal with the grey hairs in football jerseys having beer for breakfast?", could offer no wine list for the morning rush so Dad #4 ended up having a Pacifico and manning up and we were proud of him for doing so.

You have to wonder if the bartender on the ferry originally took the job picturing the lovable Isaac on The Love Boat. He'd board the ferry everyday and help aging celebrities find romance while Captain Stubing would navigate the bay. "Hey, look. It's Charo!...again." Unfortunately, being a bartender on a SF Ferry is a little more like being a bartender on a bus with better dressed passengers. So, I'm sure "Dads Gone Wild" really made his day.

At the other end of the ferry is the Ferry Building (yes, you probably could have figured that one out on your own) and there resides the Hog Island Oyster Company. This is where history was to be made. As an aside, those of us that live up in Marin know that the real Hog Island is over in Marshall. It's a place where you either bring a cooler (to bring a bag of 50 home) or a bottle of Tabasco and a bag of charcoal (to grill up your 50 right there on Tomales Bay.) At the Ferry Building, it's more of a restaurant with a large horseshoe oyster bar.

The manager was very cool and found us a spot next to some other football goers starting their own pub crawl as well. We ordered two dozen assorted and started chatting with some Pittsburgh fans next to us that had flown in just to see the game. One of the dads with our group is a huge Steelers fan and he had the jersey to prove it. The rest of us were in SF jerseys or t-shirt so I guess you could say our little group was sports integrated...sprintegrated.

It was then and there, at the full oyster bar, at the full Ferry Building, that our Steelers Dad had something to share. It turns out his wife had given him an official Pittsburgh Steelers "Tramp Stamp" tattoo for the day. Now really, how does that conversation go with the wife? "Hey, let's go upstairs with this temporary tattoo kit and..." So, after all of us had had beer 3, our Steelers Dad displayed his tramp stamp right there in the middle of the Hog Island Oyster Bar. I have to say it was well received.

Not Our Actual Steelers Dad

Now, if you don't know what a "tramp stamp" is, then let's explain. It's a tattoo that starts above the butt and then points south. In the case of our Steelers Dad, it meant "I'm open! I'm open! Throw me the ball...or whatever!"

After some great stops that we promised restaurants we wouldn't mention (but seriously, the sardines on kimchee at Waterbar are out of this world), we found our way to Candlestick. It turns out one of our dads' wives has a friend who runs security on the field. He called his wife's friend and the next thing we know a guy with a suit and an earpiece is handing us special badges and walking us onto the field. Many of the players are out there and they are setting up for the ESPN pregame show.

We walked around the field until we found a spot where we stepped into the 80s, at least that's what it felt like. Right in front of us, about five yards out onto the field, stood Steve Young in a suit without the jacket and he was throwing the ball, playing catch, with Jerry Rice. They were tossing around the ball like two buds from college who were killing a few minutes while the rest of the world was working. The ESPN guys were setting up the stage, getting microphones and lights ready, and next to them was Steve and Jerry just tossing the ball and making comments to each other, waiting until it was time to host the pregame show.

After "The Toss," Steve Young came to the sideline so close to me, I could have grabbed his shoulder and said, "Nice toss." Now, everyone I've told this story to has had the same reaction. "Why didn't you get his autograph?" they always say. It really wasn't that kind of moment. It would have ruined it. I wasn't thinking about selling my signed shirt on eBay the next day. I was just glad to be standing there briefly in the 80s and I think Steve Young and Jerry Rice were as well. It was a moment to respect and take in, not one to interrupt.

So, all I can tell you is that the next time you go out and it doesn't involve a temporary tattoo in your nether regions, then you haven't fully committed. You haven't embraced Guys Night Out or Girls Night Out. What's in store for the next Guys Day Out? Well, all I can tell you is that we haven't ruled out piercing.