Time for Men to Man Up?

Is it time for American men to man up?

This seems to be a reoccurring theme this week. Just yesterday, I saw a commercial from the folks at Dove showing that they now have a new soap just for men, because normal Dove is just too hard on their skin. Seriously? Isn't normal Dove the soap that used to be advertised by them forming a bar of soap out of hand lotion and now it's just too harsh for us sensitive guys? 

Last night, I was one of the bartenders at our county's annual Veteran's Day dinner. It's where we honor hundreds of veterans and some active duty service men. The bar is the place to be. This may come as a shock to you, but veterans can drink. What struck me was the way they order. First of all, there's the eye contact. They look you square in the eye and ask you how you are doing. Then, there's the order. It's either "What kind of beer to you have?" or it's "Red wine" or "White wine." There's nothing complicated and no questions about where the wine came from or anything like that. This is unusual for the area I live in.

You see, in Marin, being so close to the wine country, we talk a lot about wine. We don't drink "White wine." We drink "Viognier mixed with Chenin Blanc" or we drink "Pinot with Grenache." And how we describe the wine to each other at social events is as elaborate as it is embarrassing. "I'm getting a hint of cherry with an oak finish, yet there's an earthy quality to it...wait, perhaps some burnt cedar as well." And, we like to pare wine. "This Merlot would really shine with a wild mushroom risotto with a little white truffle oil." Now, I'm as guilty as any of my friends of this. But really, sometimes we just need to shut up and drink.

So, it's pretty darn refreshing to be around a group of veterans that wants "Red wine" without the elaborate description of the varietal and the bathing habits of the winemaker who crafted the wine. Just make eye contact, smile, pour it and save your review of the wine for your hairdresser.

Many years ago, my wife and I were biking through the wine country (pre-kids, of course) and being new to the whole California Wine Country experience, we went to a winery where the man doing the tasting was in his denim overalls. He seemed approachable, though he turned out to be the winery's owner, Vincent Arroyo. We asked our approachable denim-clad host our novice question, "How do you pick out a good wine? What should we look for?" He replied simply, "A good wine is a wine you like." It's not about price, brand or an earthy turnip quality. If you like a wine, then that makes it a "good wine."

So, inspired by Vincent Arroyo and all those veterans last night, this Veteran's Day I will attempt to man up. Today, I will push the testosterone envelope by:

• Not shaving (okay, admittedly, that was already in the plan for today)
• Doing laundry without using the fabric softener sheet in the dryer. Go ahead, bring on the static cling. I am man and I am ready.
• Using shampoo that does not contain tea tree oil and forgoing the conditioner completely.
• Driving our car without activating the heated seats (Don't laugh. It's supposed to get down into the lower 50s today. True Grit!)
• Watch television this evening without using the Tivo to skip through the beer and Cialis commercials (Four hours? Really? I'm not sure if that's cause for concern or applause.)

So, there you have it: Five small steps to manhood. Bring on the applause.